wow this is weird

i feel like this is the only place that i can come to when i feel like this, b/c its just so similar to what i used to feel all the time when i still blogged here

like everything is slipping away

that the world is so disgusting and sad

and that nothing is fair is anymore

and that i've come down from some kind of high i was on when i thought that the world was a happy dappy place with happy endings and true love

ignorance is bliss, bliss is ignorance

i'd give anything to be ignorant right now

i'm just so disappointed with myself and the world
i'm pissed that i feel fake now, that i hve to put up a face in an attempt not to drive anymore friends away

i've lost ellie, grace, elsa, and for all intensive purposes, jenn
god i miss them. i mean, ellie was headed in the wrong direction ever since she started haning out with 'them' and grace and i are still friends, but it'll never be like it was before. i still to this day don't know what happened to me and elsa. we had some great, great times. and i wish she knows now that i hope she's having a good time at boarding school. and jenn. god. that's way too complicated to explain.

but regrets are the past disabling you in the present. i try not to have them.


are you ugly?
a liar like me?
a user with lost soul?
someone you don't know?
money its no cure
a sickness so pure
are you like me?
are you ugly?




theres a difference with loving life itself and the actual events in life.

right now i'm doubting both.


oh and btw, i hate boys.






teardrops